my last substantial post was before i left the US last may 2009. i went back fall of the same year. that's when the changes began. it made me appreciate my family, it made me feel how lucky i was. yet as to every yin, there is a yang. it brought out the worst in me, it pummeled my confidence and self esteem, and it broke my heart. i became unsure of myself, insecure and needy. i did not like it but i was becoming it. it was easy to blame a lot of things but i know that everything happened because i chose it. i take full responsibility. i came back last month, subdued and at a loss. a far cry from the giddy excitement of the previous homecoming.
i think i am feeling my way back, but nevertheless i am sending out an SOS. rescue me.